Non-Acceptance Of What Is
“Nobody’s life is entirely free of pain and sorrow. Isn’t it a question of learning to live with them rather than trying to avoid them?”
This typically starts as some form of judgement, and at the level of thought. Then you will experience some form of pain on the emotional level. Although, the reverse can happen as well when a situation involves a personal experience from the past often involving a certain individual. If that person is intimately connected with you, this can go on for years before it is ever brought to light.
Why Does The Mind Habitually Deny Or Resist The Now?
It cannot function and remain in control without time (past and future). The now can become a threat to both you and the ego. If you’re not comfortable in your own skin, and are alone for an extended period without anything to distract your mind, the now can seem like a living hell. For the ego it means that there’s a potentiality for its exposure, and this would mean death. The mind needs time to function, and you do its bidding. Too much now means the ego’s demise or at the very least a loss of control. Dwell in the now and make brief visits to past in future to function in society. Surrender to what is.
“There’s an accumulation of past in the human psyche and we add to it by the constant denial of the now.”
The Present Moment Is Unpleasant
The mind’s desire to control the story as a way to reduce pain is just an illusion to avoid the present moment. Continuous sitting in judgement creates pain and unhappiness. Step out of its resistance patterns and allow the present moment to be. Take action if possible. Accept then act. Accept it as if you had chosen it. Make it a friend and ally. The ego is not your enemy. It is here to serve your greatest purpose, which is to awaken out of the dream-like state of the human condition.
“Every emotional pain you experience leaves behind a residue that lives on in you. It merges with pain from the past.”
Emotional Pain Body
There are two modes of being for the pain body, and those are dormant and active. It may be dormant ninety percent of the time, but in a deeply unhappy person it may be active up to a hundred percent of the time. Intimate relationships may trigger it. Anything can trigger it especially if it resonates with a pain pattern from the past. It is an entity in its own right. Some are physically violent, and can even drive their host to suicide.
Personal experience: I truly never noticed it until I was in my first love relationship and became what I hated most. When my needs were no longer met by my partner, and by needs I mean the needs of the ego, I became increasingly insecure, jealous, and emotionally violent.
Watch Out For Any Signs Of Unhappiness
It may be the awakening pain body. Pain body wants to survive and feeds on any experience that resonates with its own energy. You become a victim or perpetrator. You either want to inflict pain, suffer pain, or both. There isn’t much difference between the two. Your thinking and behavior are designed to keep the pain going. To want more pain is insanity and no one is consciously insane. It’s afraid of being found out. Pain is an illusion. Is this true for you? Realize the truth deeply by recognizing examples of it in your own life. Unconsciousness creates it and consciousness transmutes it into itself. Do not fight it. Accept it as a part of what is. It is life energy but it has become anti-life. Look at it while your attention is within. By taking your attention into it you break the attachment. When you watch the pain body it cannot replenish itself anymore.
Side Note: Where there’s anger there’s always pain underneath. Anger feels powerful which is why it’s so commonly used to control others and situations. When things work for you in the past, you will then use it again and again when you cannot control what is happening. It’s like a baby that learns to cry to get what it wants. When presence isn’t there early on, a person will carry this behavior into adulthood and beyond. It also gives you a physical payoff similar to an addict shooting drugs into a vein; there’s almost a sense of pleasure derived from it.
Alchemical Transformation
Turning suffering into consciousness is like transforming base metal into gold. Don’t let the pain turn to thinking, do not make it into an identity. Understand it by experiencing it. You may experience intense emotional pain from this if you’ve invested a large part of your identity with it. Use the pain to remind that you aren’t present. The pain is usually an automatic, conditioned reaction, so don’t blame yourself for it. Instead, use it for the fuel of your spiritual fire. Suffering is a great motivation to become free.
“If you have a strong pain body, you’re lucky.”
Fear
It is usually psychological fear, which is of something that might happen. Any unease, worry, dread, or phobia becomes an anxiety gap. This appears to be some hole that needs to be filled. One cannot cope with the future, and the ego ends up running your life. If you go against its demands, the body may go through some sort of withdrawal pains. Observe the resistance. No one can do this for you, but if you can find someone who is present, to be with you and hold that field of awareness, then this may accelerate your progress. This is the role of a spiritual teacher.
Ego Is Insecure And Constantly Under Threat
It comes as a fear of loss, failure, or fear of being hurt. It is a deep-seated sense of lack or incompleteness. If it is conscious, it’s a constant feeling of not being worthy or good enough. If it is unconscious, it can be felt indirectly as a constant state of craving or needing.
The compulsive need to be right in an argument is due to the fear of death. To be wrong is to die. Wars have been fought over this for centuries. Forcefully compulsive and deeply unconscious need to be right is a form of violence. You are defending an image in your mind, a fictitious entity. When disagreeing with someone, you can consciously state how you feel, and what you think without aggressiveness. Then your sense of self will be derived from a deeper and truer place within. End arguments and power games which are so corrosive to relationships.
“Power over others is weakness disguised as strength.”
Most Common Ego Identifications
These have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of this is you, but the ego does its best to convince you otherwise.
“The secret of life is to die before you die, and find that there is no death.”
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