Assume [ uh-soom ]

1. to take for granted or without proof

We’ve probably heard the saying, “Whenever you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” And who could argue with this? Yet, so many do it on a daily basis. They do it because they believe it is a necessity of human function to make assumptions in order to make decisions. You’re at the office, you send out an important email to the team, and you expect that someone will read it and act accordingly. You’re probably not going to get around this type of behavior in a business setting. But should you apply this to relationships with friends and family? This is what I’d like to address in this blog.

How many times have you assumed someone is a certain way because they said, did this or that? “Woah! Brad over there smokes, he must not be a spiritual person.” You may have had a similar thought, but it was about you in your own mind. So within so without. To assume is the product of not being comfortable with not knowing. The unknown is so scary, you make something up to keep from losing some kind of control. Mostly it’s about holding yourself together, so you become rigid and stiff as you are constantly bracing yourself for impact. This is some sort of faux strength. In actuality it is making you weaker and blocking the joy of experiencing others and the world as it is. You are wasting energy for nothing. Also, it prevents you from being present. For example, you make an assumption about a person based on your past experiences with them. You have left the now and are living in the past and not looking without judgment.

This has become a foolproof method of the ego to place you in a state of constant worry, and fools you into believing that making assumptions will put you in control. The more it can get you to be on board with prejudgments, the more it will convince you a person is bad when they behave in a way which doesn’t fit with your presumption. Another strategy of the ego is to have and make enemies. It sees love and joy as hostile environments, and cannot survive without you constantly feeding it with negative emotional energy. Leaving you to clean up the mess, and keeping you from ever truly knowing yourself. Knowing thyself is the remedy for an overabundance of negativity, fear, insecurity, and jealousy. You regain control the moment you discover you no longer need to force anything, which is not control at all.

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