Why should you be addicted to your own pain? Well, it has become a comfort zone for so many and an insecurity blanket, as I like to call it. Familiarity also has something to do with the attachment to this pain, which is why there’s such a large number of people that stay in bad relationships.
The known is so much less scarier than the unknown. Pain has a story to tell to anyone that might listen and agree with your point of view. It is the tale of I am right and you are wrong. If I hold on to it, I can be right all the time. Our own personal algorithm. How incredibly predictable you have become.
You think you are controlling it, but in reality it is running you into the ground. A terrible way to find oneself. Recognizing that there is a problem is the moment you begin to release this burden.