for•give•ness fər-gĭv′nĭs, fôr-
- n.The act of forgiving; pardon.
- n.The act of forgiving; the act of granting pardon, as for a wrong, offense, or sin; remission of an obligation, debt, or penalty; pardon.
- n.Disposition or willingness to forgive or pardon.
Ahh this can be a tricky thing. The definition of forgiveness is a little misleading because it leads one to assume there is a victim and a perpetrator, and we all know this isn’t always the case. Also, it implies that you are doing something for someone else. You know what, guys? Forgiveness is all about you and has little to do with the other person involved. Yes, that’s right, this act of kind benevolence is for you, bubala. I know, I know what you’re thinking, ” You know what that so and so did to me?” Believe me I have been there and back again and again and again. Been taken advantage of many times and I have taken advantage over others in pure revenge mode. That’s why I’m saying that forgiveness is for you, it’s a way to finally let go of the hurt you’ve been holding onto because you think it’s punishing the other person. Why waste it on them, anyway? They’ve moved and now you can move on, too. So let’s do this together and start with the good.
5 Benefits of Forgiveness
1. Improves relationships
2. Strengthens trust in others
3. Allows you to finally face the future
4. Resolves the past
5. Reduces stress
I am not asking you to forgive now, tomorrow, next week or even next year. What I am asking is to consider forgiving someone else for your own benefit, and not theirs. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone what they did. The meaning of this noble act is to make you realize all of the hate, resentment, anger etc. hurt you most of all. What we crazy humans do sometimes is carry the negativity like a shield. We believe that is the lesson to learn here. “I will never trust anyone again because you are all the same so what’s the point of even trying?” I know you believe I’m some sort of psychic, right? Nah! That’s my sister. Sometimes we can’t even forgive ourselves for not being able to forgive. Makes us madder at this person for their villainous deed. Do not worry about that right now.
To forgive is a natural act without any coercion involved. It cannot be forced. Knowing the above raises your own self-awareness, which gives you the space to work through the pain you’ve been experiencing. This is the greatest lesson. Next time this person’s face pops into your head, say these words, “Forgiveness is for me.” Then see what happens next.
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” –Bryant H. McGill
“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.” –Anonymous
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” –Louis B. Smedes